Harry Potter book leaks before release

At a point when Harry Potter is the topic of the conversation virtually everywhere, a bothering news surfaces about an illicit release of the book, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, on the internet. The author of this blog says he found the book on the pirate bay. The photos of the book are all fingers and thumbs, literally. If I were the an Onion editor, this would be my story:

The underworld mafia release an illicit version of the book on the internet. The photos were taken by a camera screwed to a chewing gum that was chewed for the whole time the book was photographed.

The author J. K. Rowling and the publisher are claiming a loss of $90 trillions. They said this number was calculated based on the losses purportedly incurred earlier by software companies such as Microsoft, Oracle etc and music companies such as Sony, BMG etc due to the piracy of their proprietary material. The far-reaching effects of this economic calamity will be felt all over the world. Countries will be without electricity, heat, water, spicy food and even underwears for more than a decade. The destruction caused will likely bring the US back under the British rule, make superbowl a game of cricket, disturb the peace in the middle east and unite India and Pakistan.

Such are the effects of piracy. Such.

Will 911 save you from cops?

It's better to acquaint yourself with numbers other than 911 in cases of emergencies like this. An intoxicated man, very intoxicated man, calls 911 to save himself from the cops and gets arrested.

This sounds like an Indian movie where the hero's sidekick gives a complaint about the villain to a corrupt cop and gets whipped.

The above story is one more reason for me to remain a teetotaler.

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In the same spirit, here is another story where a couple of unemployed scientists from NJ prove that dogs like binge drinking, prefer beer to other alcohols and like Bud Light the most. Ok. I made the last one up. But at least dogs should be glad they don't have to deal with 911 when drunk.

Read it with a plate of salt since this is an Onion story.

Top 50 websites

TIME magazine has come up with a list of the hottest websites in 2007. Out of the 50 websites listed, I've been to only 3! I stay on the computer for about 12 hours a day and I've been to only 3! They are, LinkedIn, INGDirect and StarWars. I haven't even heard of most of the others.

I know what I have to do for the next few hours this weekend...

Intel befriends OLPC program

Intel, an adversary for the One Laptop Per Child (OLPC) program until recently, has agreed to join hands with Nicholas Negroponte to bring PCs to children around the world. When the OLPC program was launched, Craig Barrett, Intel's CEO, derided OLPC's 'XO' machine as just a 'gadget'. But Intel themselves recently launched a Classmate PC whose design is much more naive than its competitor XO, while selling it for a whopping $225 as opposed to XO's $100.

Intel has now not only agreed to be on the board of OLPC, but also support and fund the program actively. Intel now joins AMD, Google and Red Hat in this effort. The computers that will be reaching children around the world this autumn will, nevertheless, be made of AMD processors. Some suspect Intel's move as a step in pushing AMD off its pedestal.

I say, as long as the children around the world benefit, who cares about these brand wars.

Green?land

As long as 120,000 years ago, Greenland was apparently covered with lush forests, according to the latest findings detailed in this article. By analysing ice cores that are almost a mile deep, scientists have been able to find intact DNA belonging to conifers and a collection of insects. It is remarkable how the ice has so artistically preserved the genetic data, almost as if they were waiting to be discovered.

So far, the knowledge of the past environments of such ice-covered regions has been very limited, because the fossil evidence, if any, may be hidden. This study, however, has unearthed the possibility that many deep ice cores might contain genetic information about the environments of the region in their basal layers of ice. The result is also promising because there are many more ice covered areas on the earth, whose ecology and life forms can be studied by extending this technique. With facilities available to analyse DNA and identify species on a large scale, this offers a whole range of areas to be explored on a manageable time scale.

Letter to Manny

Ice Age is a movie about a lonely abandoned mammoth, Manfred, finding companionship in a sloth and a scheming tiger. As beautiful as the movie is, it makes us sad that the curse of extinction has wiped these imposing creatures from the surface of the earth.

Dear Manny,

I take great pleasure in breaking the news to you that your species' footprints of existence were discovered in Moscow, Russia. Manny, you may be glad to note some representative comments from our species:

"It's a lovely little baby mammoth indeed, found in perfect condition," said Alexei Tikhonov...."This specimen may provide unique material allowing us to ultimately decipher the genetic makeup of the mammoth," he told Reuters by telephone.

You may also be elated to notice the fact that the discovered mammoth is a female, Lyuba, who is also being called in my native language a fifty KG TaajuMahaal (translates to: as beautiful as a 50 kilogram Taj Mahal, one of the New Seven Wonders).

I hope this epistle bears news happy enough to raise your ever-flagging spirits, be it in the Ice Age or during the meltdown or when you loved Raymond.

Yours sincerely,
oLi (Light)

300 x 911 = McDonald

Statement: McDonald is like crack. Once you're hooked, you'll do anything to get it. You'll even call the cops 300 times to order a burger.

Proof: A girl, 4, called 911 300 times on a deactivated cell phone to order a McDonald's burger without her mother's knowledge.

Corollory: Cops are worse than most delivering stores. You have to call them about 300 times just to get a burger, and you trust them to get to you pronto in time of emergency?

Burp less to fight global warming

Seems to be true for cows, atleast. This Reuters article suggests that the bovine belch can generate an average of 100-200 litres of methane a day! Staggering, to say the least. Given that methane is almost 25 times as potent a global warmer as carbon dioxide, reducing methane emissions could bring down global warming significantly.

Researchers are now frantically trying to find new plant-based diets for these cows so as to make them belch less. Usually, a poorer quality diet results in significantly more methane gas. It could be because cattle feed, these days, is less chewy, and cows are not able to break it down well before it reaches the stomach. This leads to incomplete processing, and therefore, more methane, which comes out in the belch.

On the positive side of things this emission of fuel may fuel better regulations on what these animals will be fed.

Sun eats mobile signal

According to this Inquirer article solar flares can attenuate mobile signals significantly. And this does not mean if you go into a burrow you'll be getting signal bursts. The sun actually causes the signal-towers that face the Sun to lose signal for brief periods. And since the Sun attacks the hub, the tower, solar flares are apparently responsible for 8-20% of the dropped calls.

At least now the mobile companies don't have to take the blame anymore and better yet, they can blame a cause that does not have any solution, the Sun.

Wine tastings gone wild

Doug Kuntz for The New York Time

I had earlier written here about wine helping us to live longer. But meanwhile, being a teetotaler, I've been thinking (a) what are the consequences of trying to live long by consuming wine? and (b) Do I really want to live that long given people around me will be all high on wine all the time wanting to live longer?

Frankly, I don't understand why people drink. The main reasons I don't drink is that I want to remember that I had fun and to remember the fun I had. And not only do people around me drink and float in a puddle of puke, but also often make me share the miseries they go through!

According to this New York Times post:

There also are reports of tastings gone wild involving intoxicated visitors who have tossed back full glasses of wine without regard to nose or body until they grabbed the brass spittoon for baser purposes.

The above is one reason I wouldn't run a vineyard or a wine-tasting event.

The latest additions to local lore include a story about members of an inebriated group at the Palmer Vineyards here who hopped off a hayride and began gallivanting naked through the vines.

Aforementioned is one reason why I would not want to be around people who're inebriated on wine.

One thing going in favour of alcohol, quoting Jerry Seinfeld, "Say what you want about alcohol, but not only are there not a lot of optional accessories, alcohol actually helps you get rid of things. Family, home, job, driver's license. In fact, at a certain point, the only thing you have to remember to get, is more alcohol, and maybe a rag for your squeegee."


I'd rather follow the Bible:

Do not gaze at wine when it is red, when it sparkles in the cup, when it goes down smoothly!

In the end it bites like a snake, and poisons like a viper.

Your eyes will see strange sightes and your mind imagine confusing things.

Amen.

Taj Mahal is still a Wonder

Taj Mahal is still among the seven wonders of the world. According to the WSJ article:

Brazil's Statue of Christ Redeemer, Peru's Machu Picchu, and Mexico'sChichen Itza pyramid were chosen alongside the Great Wall of China, Jordan'sPetra, the Colosseum in Rome and India's Taj Mahal....

Among the places left out were the Acropolis in Athens, Greece; the Statuesof Easter Island, Chile; Cambodia's Angkor; Turkey's Hagia Sophia; and Russia'sKremlin and St. Basil's Cathedral....

The Great Pyramids of Giza, the only surviving structures from the original seven wonders of the ancient world, kept their status in addition to the new seven.

Glad, I am. But, who is attesting the status of these wonders? According to the wikipedia article, it is organized by a Swiss corporation called New Open World Corporation (NOWC). Why should the whole world, including you and me, crave for this attestation by a not-so-established organisation? Taj Mahal was given the world heritage status in 1983 and no private organisation can strip it of the status. In fact, according to UNESCO:

In order to avoid any damaging confusion, UNESCO wishes to reaffirm that there is no link whatsoever between UNESCO's World Heritage programme, which aims to protect world heritage, and the current campaign concerning "The New 7 Wonders of the World"....

UNESCO's objective and mandate is to assist countries in identifying, protecting and preserving World Heritage. Acknowledging the sentimental or emblematic value of sites and inscribing them on a new list is not enough. Scientific criteria must be defined, the quality of candidates evaluated, and legislative and management frameworks set up.

To me, the seven wonders of the world are like the ivy-league institutions. It is not about whether there are new institutions that have surpassed the imposing nature of the older ones - it is about a rich history, with splendid credits - both of which can never be stripped from institutions that have been proclaimed to have the status.

Again, I'm very happy to learn that Taj Mahal still stands as an edifice that evokes awe from the majority of the world, but I'm not so sure I would have been disturbed if it had not made the list. Whether or not it made this list, Taj Mahal would have always retained its sheen - officially too.