Harry Potter book leaks before release

At a point when Harry Potter is the topic of the conversation virtually everywhere, a bothering news surfaces about an illicit release of the book, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, on the internet. The author of this blog says he found the book on the pirate bay. The photos of the book are all fingers and thumbs, literally. If I were the an Onion editor, this would be my story:

The underworld mafia release an illicit version of the book on the internet. The photos were taken by a camera screwed to a chewing gum that was chewed for the whole time the book was photographed.

The author J. K. Rowling and the publisher are claiming a loss of $90 trillions. They said this number was calculated based on the losses purportedly incurred earlier by software companies such as Microsoft, Oracle etc and music companies such as Sony, BMG etc due to the piracy of their proprietary material. The far-reaching effects of this economic calamity will be felt all over the world. Countries will be without electricity, heat, water, spicy food and even underwears for more than a decade. The destruction caused will likely bring the US back under the British rule, make superbowl a game of cricket, disturb the peace in the middle east and unite India and Pakistan.

Such are the effects of piracy. Such.

300 x 911 = McDonald

Statement: McDonald is like crack. Once you're hooked, you'll do anything to get it. You'll even call the cops 300 times to order a burger.

Proof: A girl, 4, called 911 300 times on a deactivated cell phone to order a McDonald's burger without her mother's knowledge.

Corollory: Cops are worse than most delivering stores. You have to call them about 300 times just to get a burger, and you trust them to get to you pronto in time of emergency?

Wine tastings gone wild

Doug Kuntz for The New York Time

I had earlier written here about wine helping us to live longer. But meanwhile, being a teetotaler, I've been thinking (a) what are the consequences of trying to live long by consuming wine? and (b) Do I really want to live that long given people around me will be all high on wine all the time wanting to live longer?

Frankly, I don't understand why people drink. The main reasons I don't drink is that I want to remember that I had fun and to remember the fun I had. And not only do people around me drink and float in a puddle of puke, but also often make me share the miseries they go through!

According to this New York Times post:

There also are reports of tastings gone wild involving intoxicated visitors who have tossed back full glasses of wine without regard to nose or body until they grabbed the brass spittoon for baser purposes.

The above is one reason I wouldn't run a vineyard or a wine-tasting event.

The latest additions to local lore include a story about members of an inebriated group at the Palmer Vineyards here who hopped off a hayride and began gallivanting naked through the vines.

Aforementioned is one reason why I would not want to be around people who're inebriated on wine.

One thing going in favour of alcohol, quoting Jerry Seinfeld, "Say what you want about alcohol, but not only are there not a lot of optional accessories, alcohol actually helps you get rid of things. Family, home, job, driver's license. In fact, at a certain point, the only thing you have to remember to get, is more alcohol, and maybe a rag for your squeegee."


I'd rather follow the Bible:

Do not gaze at wine when it is red, when it sparkles in the cup, when it goes down smoothly!

In the end it bites like a snake, and poisons like a viper.

Your eyes will see strange sightes and your mind imagine confusing things.

Amen.